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Mamas Who Work

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[27 Sep 2007|03:49pm]

When Shelby was 8 weeks old I applied for childcare assistance and was put on a waiting list. 2 1/2 years later, after several temporary sitters, one disasterous stint at KinderCare where Shelby received 2nd degree burns, and finally finding Karen (who loves Shelby) to watch her in her home . . .I get a letter saying I qualify for help.

I AM eligible, but Karen is not. If I move Shelby to a different facility I would only have to pay $58 a week as opposed to the $120 I'm paying now, saving $240 a month.

But I can't do it. It was so hard finding someone to keep Shelby that I trusted after she got hurt. Shelby has been with Karen for over a year now, I can't send her back to a facility or stranger. Karen loves Shelby. Shelby loves Karen. Isn't love worth more than $240??

I have to keep saying that because having that extra money sounds SO NICE right now.

(crossposted to a couple of places)
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question [14 Jun 2007|10:17am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

Lately my son has been really whiny! Hes about to turn 2 on July 13th and hes never been this whiny before. Hes always good with me. But it seems ever since i got with my new boyfriend hes got to act spoild around me and whine like hes dieing! I come home from work and my boyfriend comes over and he starts fussing for no reason. Could it be jealousy because its always been me and him and now all of a sudden theres three of us? How do i break him from this? He is fine when im gone and hes with my boyfriend ALONE, he doesnt act like that with him but just as soon as i walk back in the door he starts up. Alex says hes spoild around me but i dont spoil my son!!! He doesnt get what he wants when he wants it all the time. So why would he act spoild around me now? ah it gets fustrating...

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Supernanny [12 Jun 2007|01:40pm]

I was watching Supernanny last night and Jo was trying to make the mother see that spanking her child should not be an option, instead they were trying to make the girl stand in the corner (or time out or whatever). Every time the mom would put her there, she would run away and have to be taken back. They did this for THREE HOURS until the little girl finally stayed.

I've seen this pattern several times on the show and supposedly it only takes a few times like this for the child to learn and start cooperating. Here's my problem: from what I've seen, most of the moms on this show are stay at home moms, and even though I'm sure there are other things they would like to be doing during that time, what about us working moms that do NOT have 2 or three hours to spare when our child is throwing a fit?? What happens when that fit is happening as we're headed out the door to someplace we NEED to be?

I'm not trying to judge Supernanny or SAHM's, I'm just asking for any suggestions or alternatives. Shelby WILL NOT sit in time out. I tried putting her in her crib for a while, but now she can climb out of it and I took it down before she fell and cracked her head open. If I try to hold her for a time out she fights and kicks and it's horrible. What do I do?? (Shelby's 2 by the way, and most of her tantrums happen when she is overly tired or missed her nap - not an excuse, just a fact.)

X-posted to several places.
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Happy Valentines Day!! [14 Feb 2007|10:14am]

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AT&T offers new parental controls with AT&T Smart Limits [13 Feb 2007|11:32am]

Thought you might be interested in a new service for parents of young children. AT&T Smart Limits is a new all inclusive service offering parents a variety of controls to keep their kids safe. AT&T Smart Limits has industry-leading parental controls across its wireless, home phone, internet and TV services available today.

This innovative service is designed to provide parental controls across key services all in one place. We welcome parents to click here to learn more about parental controls and media: http://clickthat2006.com/attsmartlimits/consumer_landing.asp .

On behalf of AT&T
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Issues with child care provider [24 Jan 2007|02:32pm]

A little background infoCollapse )

Here is my problem: Last night Shelby and I were playing with her dollhouse and she took one of the dolls and told him to stand in the corner. I have never done that to Shelby (and never would) so I asked her about it and she said Karen makes her stand in the corner. So then I said "does Karen hit you?" and she said "spank bottom" and patted her bottom. Now, I do not spank Shelby. I think hitting a child teaches them that hitting is ok. I have been known to swat her hand when she was reaching for the hot stove, but I have never spanked her. I am not anti-spanking for other people, I think every parent has to make their own informed decision, but it's not the kind of discipline I want to practice and it's CERTAINLY not something I want someone else to do to my child.

What do I do? My first reaction was to call Karen right away and confront her about it. But then I started thinking . . .Shelby is two. She says a lot of stuff. One time she told me a horse bit her hand . . .the horse was across the street behind a fence! She has a big imagination, and I wonder how much of what she says to take to heart.

I consider Karen a friend of mine and don't want to hurt her feelings by accusing her of something that may not be true, but I also don't want her disciplining my child by hitting her or making her stand in the corner.
6 comments|post comment

Wrockmomma Community [19 Oct 2006|04:19pm]



Read the recent working momma rants!

No Mommy-Wars here.  Just be yourself.

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Questions for Parents of School Age Kids [02 Oct 2006|12:24pm]

I am trying to get an overall feel for what it is like to be a parent of a school age child to understand better for my job and to share with my coworkers. Any answers at all would be fantastic!

1) What is the best thing about being a parent of a school age child?

2) What problems have you encountered?

3) How do you help your children overcome these problems?

4) What advice would you give to other parents of school age children?

Thanks in advance!
2 comments|post comment

[22 Aug 2006|12:13pm]

Can anyone recommend helpful books on Single Parenting or being a single Mom? Also, any children's books that center around mommy and daughter?

Thanks in advance!

1 comment|post comment

Baby Tales [10 Aug 2006|09:28am]

I wanted to invite you to my journal. I will be writing out commentaries about my days as a daycare teacher (all true stories with names changed to protect my children and parents, as well as to protect myself). Please feel free to add this journal to your friends list.

...cross-posted in lots of places
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[20 Jun 2006|08:49am]

I keep telling myself that everyone has nights like these . . .Collapse )
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[10 Apr 2006|06:44pm]

I just had a baby almost 3 months ago (woah time flies) so I obviously have been staying home... which means a big budget cut for us; but...Both of these websites are GREAT! I've made over $200 in the past 2months from them (and yes really have been paid)! M
The surveys can get redundent, but are worth it. Treasure Trooper isn't as quick to okay things you've done, but I think has better payouts! Check em out! (Warning: THEY ARE SLIGHTLY ADDICTING!!!)

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Urgent Magnetix Toy Recall!!!!!!! [31 Mar 2006|10:43am]

I got these for Alan but never used them:

Here is a link to the official recall:


Here is a link to a story on the matter:


Please pass this on to anyone you know who might have these toys!!!!!
3 comments|post comment

Paris's biting - an update [27 Feb 2006|09:26am]

It's now been a little over a month since "the biting". My daughter, Paris will be 21 mos. in a couple of days.

Paris passed the three weeks probationary period like a champ. Her super sunny personality was back in full form the whole time. Now she's back to (somewhat) fulltime day care. I'm still on the early schedule at work (getting to work by 7 instead of 6, though), my husband's dropping her off a little bit earlier (9:30 instead of 10).

I also had a second talk with the day care. My sister convinced me to not give up on them. This time I sat with a different person, someone who knew us and Paris better. I still feel like we got categorized by the higher up woman. She looked at my husband in his dickies, tattoos & scruffy appearance. And me, dressed nicer, but still quite casually. I'm sure she assumed we worked at the burger barn, and not at jobs that require college degrees. He's a computer programmer and his looks the part. I'm a graphic designer. Anyway. I still haven't quite forgiven that lady for the look she had in her eye when we talked, but I just stay away from her.

She had one "attempted bite" a couple of weeks ago, right after she went back to a longer schedule. The teacher didn't report it - she said that she's seen too many kids be kicked out of what she considers a stupid policy (all three of her kids bit). She didn't want to see Paris go since she was there to prevent contact. I think Paris still has it in her, but we've been on it so hard and fast that she's not doing it right now. Also, she's starting to use her words together - such a relief! When we first started with this we could barely get a "no!" out of her when things weren't the way she wanted. Now we're starting to get a "no! my swing!" such a short time later! And no matter how whiny it sounds I say, "good using your words, Paris! Good job!" The attempted bite was also the day they jumped from 4 kids to 10 and it was utter chaos. She said she had kids that never have had behavioral problems act up that day. She said every single one of her "regulars" acted up in some way that day.

The teacher also complimented us - she said she's never had another parent do so much to correct a behavior. I brought in books on not biting and left them there, talked to them constantly about updates on her behavior, bought her teethers at home, so she had them at home too. For the first week or so they went back and forth with her each day. I spent a lot more time with her at day care (I always did spend some time with her there, but I spend more now).

I've discovered that I really like getting to work much earlier. I get out by 3 most days and Paris and I get to hang out together for the afternoon. I make, like, complete, inventive, fun and deliciously healthful dinners now. Usually dinner's being finished as my husband gets home (the liberated woman part of me is disgusted with myself! ;-) ).

We also got a lot better at going to weekend play dates. With the busy holidays, we'd gotten out of the habit. I set up special dates at the playgroup that normally is for SAHM's who meet during the week (I met them all at the breastfeeding support group and I love them all). I joined a local Meetup group for working moms with toddlers, so there's more activities going on when we're free to do them.

Well, anyway. I guess the short of it is we're still at the same day care, and we're hopefully getting past this. :)
1 comment|post comment

Help! [20 Jan 2006|08:46pm]

A few weeks ago I ventured into the beginning of "spank" territory. I started with a tap on the hand and a stern "no!" with my 14 month old daughter. Unfortunatly, that resulted in her hitting me back with a stern "no!" After it happened I was like, "wait, I messed this up." Since then, it has been a struggle to get her to stop hitting me. Not anyone else, just me. Which I guess is good, but also makes the situation more disheartening because it makes me feel like she hates me or I'm a terrible mother or something. She has also been hitting her baby since that day. So when she hits me, I've been saying "no hit!" and putting her in a little time out in my lap where I hold her arms and won't let her go anywhere. Sometimes it works, sometimes as soon as I let her go she smiles and hits me again, so I hold her down again. When she's being ornery like that, she only stops when she gets distracted by something else.

Tonight that is the game we played. She hit me, I said "no hit!" and gave her timeouts, and she cried. I'd let her go, she'd smile and hit me again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Very frustrating. Then dad came downstairs and she lost interest and played with him for a very long time. It was cute, he was throwing her around and she was laughing hysterically and a good time was being had by all for about a half hour or more. Then she crawled across the furniture over to me and full on slapped me HARD in the face, with a big smile on her own. Out of nowhere! Just crawled over to me and slapped me in the face! There was even a handprint! I didn't even know a one year old could hit so hard it left a mark! I was furious and told her no and put her over my knee for a spank on the diaper. She cried and then she went straight to bed. Still, I am the only person she does this to.

Now I'm feeling like crap. I don't know how to get her to stop doing this. Obviously tapping her hand didn't work, because then she started hitting me. Obviously the stern "no" isn't working. Obviously the time outs are not working, either. Sure, they make her mad, but then she just hits me again. I seriously don't know what to do and I'm discouraged and feel like I'm messing things up when I'm trying to make them better.

And the dumb thing is that I would post this on a board like at babycenter or something, but I'm afraid all the judgemental stay at home mom's on there would crucify me for working, and that is the last thing I need. Or that all the moms who don't believe in spanking would crucify me, as well. All I want is help on how to solve this. All ideas welcome, just don't be mean.

8 comments|post comment

Mommy's little biter [13 Jan 2006|03:51pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

Two days ago Paris (19 mos. old) bit a poor kid at day care on the cheek. This is awful and I feel terrible. She's bitten a couple of other times last month, but it was a month ago, I'd hoped she got over it. Yesterday, the very next day, she bit twice, on arms both through clothes. After the first one, I had to pick her up early, after the second, they called me much later, but I still picked her up early. They didn't want her back today. So we had to scramble to get someone to take care of her so we could work.

They said they didn't want her full time any more for a few weeks and if she bites one single more time she's kicked out. I now have to be to work at 6 a.m. so I can have a full day's work before picking her up at 2:30. Nick's dropping her off later - at 10 a.m. For half of the time she's there she'll be sleeping.

After two consecutive days of biting, I'm sure that she's going to bite on Monday, leaving me s.o.l. for Tuesday. My mom & step-dad went on vacation last night, not returning til the end of the month, so my support system is weaker than normal. Luckily my sister was able to take Paris today for us.

I'm so angry and frustrated. How can I guarantee that Paris won't bite again? I cannot. She is a different person from me. The biting has never happened when I was there for me to do anything about it. My sister pointed out that the other parent probably freaked out and made a big scene so they're overreacting to it.

They're going to be shadowing her when she is there and offering all the kids teething rings & wet wash cloths to bite, if they feel like biting. I should think a kid would get confused between what's ok to bite and what's not ok. But whatever. I ordered two children's books on biting from Amazon because I couldn't find them locally to get them faster. I bought her a couple of teething items so we could have them at home. I've researched the internet and my books and EVERYTHING says it's just a phase, that they grow out of it but that it takes time. Positive re-inforcement. and time.

I called the doc, but the operator didn't want to make an app. for me. She said, "oh, honey! This is normal behavior! What on earth is going on with that day care?!" She left a message with the doc, and when they called back to talk to me I was driving and the phone cut out and they haven't called back even though I've tried calling them again. I just wanted to talk to the doc to make absolute sure that we covered every single base we possibly could.

We're making a concerted effort to get her to make sure she gets as much sleep as possible every night now -- we're guessing that since every single bite has happened in the morning that she might be tired and not able to stop herself. It's a battle to get her to sleep. We've *never* been able to get her to sleep by 8, or even 9. It's more like 10 when she finally goes to sleep. Even getting her to bed earlier that cannot *guarantee* that she won't bite again. And if it's not sleep, we don't have a chance to try anything else.

They made me feel like I was the worst parent ever. They assumed she bites at home, when in fact she does not. They assumed we made changes at home that she's reacting to at day care. We have not. The change she is adjusting to is this day care! She started there Dec. 5th and she had a week off when we went on vacation. Isn't it obvious to anyone other than me that the bites happened right after she started then stopped, and then they started again right after we came back from vacation?!?

I'm so mad.
I'm so frustrated.

I feel terrible for the other kids and their parents. I was on the other side, this is how Paris learned to bite - she was the victim. But what am I supposed to do?? How am I supposed to fix this when I'm not there when it happens?

I'm just simply at a loss.

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Annoyed. [07 Jan 2006|02:31pm]

Everyone else (day care, both grandmas, etc.) says Paris (19 mos. old) is the easiest thing in the world to put down for a nap. "she's so easy!" "She knows just what to do!" "We never have any problems!" "Right at noon she goes down! It's so great having her!"

WHY THE FREAKING HELL CAN I NOT GET HER TO SLEEP FOR HER NAP BEFORE 4 IN THE EFFIN' AFTERNOON ON THE WEEKENDS?? It's 2:30, she should have gone to sleep at noon, and she's getting crabbier and crabbier but WILL NOT sleep. At my wit's end.

I feel like such a failure, like I have no idea how to get her to sleep but everyone else does. She's my kid. I should know how to get her to sleep.
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Calling all moms... question about baby expenses. [30 Dec 2005|07:35pm]

How much does or did your baby really cost a month? What do you pay for diapers, formula, daycare, etc. etc.? I will continue working mostly because my job has excellent benefits that I can't afford to give up.

I'm trying to figure out a plan to be able to afford to at least start trying to get pregnant. I was figuring maybe if I figured out kind of an "average" cost of what babies cost a month we could start trying to live while putting that much back (or something close to it) in a savings account each month. Then by the time I finally did get pregnant we'd have quite a nice nest egg set aside, besides being able to actually live and afford the baby on the money we actually make each month.

So, if you wouldn't mind giving me an idea of what it costs, I'd appreciate it. I'm talking an actual dollar amount, if possible.

I really do appreciate this.
1 comment|post comment

New here [12 Nov 2005|10:02am]

[ mood | cheerful ]

Hello, ladies! I'm a pregnant working mom due any day with my 4th child (a boy). My husband and I have two girls (almost 15 and 7) and a boy (almost 2). I am a dentist and just opened a private practice with my hubby who is also a dentist. Our Almost 15 year old thinks our both being dentists is hilarious and we are the butt of her many jokes.

Just dropping a line to say hello. This community looks like a great one.

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[03 Nov 2005|04:11pm]

My daughter is 9 months old and ever since she's been in daycare has been getting sick at least once a month with a cold or virus or something. A lady I work with suggested that I use Poly Vi Sol (or something like that) which is basically just an infant vitamin. Does anyone here use that or something similar? I'm wondering if it would help cut down on some of the sickness.
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