onerover1 (onerover1) wrote in workingmoms,
onerover1
onerover1
workingmoms

Issues with child care provider

I am a 35 year old single, working mom. My daughter, Shelby, will be two on January 29th. From the time Shelby was 8 weeks old until 14 months old she went to a day care center. Last March Shelby was seriously injured at the facility and needless to say I didn't send her back there. Between my two sisters and myself, we kept Shelby for the next 3 months until I found someone I trusted to watch her. This person, Karen, was someone that I had worked with (over the phone) for almost 2 years. We worked at different companies, but spoke almost daily over the phone and after I moved to another position we kept in touch through email. Once she found out what had happened to Shelby at the day care she told me that she had been thinking about quitting her job and watching kids in her home. In mid-July she started keeping Shelby and everything was great. Of course, there was a rough transition period for a couple of weeks where Shelby would cry in the mornings, but she soon got into a routine and would wave me bye-bye when I left.

Over the past 7 months I have learned that Karen and I have different opinions on almost everything. Most of it is religious and political and has nothing to do with Shelby. I am certain that she cares for Shelby and that Shelby loves her. She has taught Shelby so many things and includes her in a lot of their family activities too.

Here is my problem: Last night Shelby and I were playing with her dollhouse and she took one of the dolls and told him to stand in the corner. I have never done that to Shelby (and never would) so I asked her about it and she said Karen makes her stand in the corner. So then I said "does Karen hit you?" and she said "spank bottom" and patted her bottom. Now, I do not spank Shelby. I think hitting a child teaches them that hitting is ok. I have been known to swat her hand when she was reaching for the hot stove, but I have never spanked her. I am not anti-spanking for other people, I think every parent has to make their own informed decision, but it's not the kind of discipline I want to practice and it's CERTAINLY not something I want someone else to do to my child.

What do I do? My first reaction was to call Karen right away and confront her about it. But then I started thinking . . .Shelby is two. She says a lot of stuff. One time she told me a horse bit her hand . . .the horse was across the street behind a fence! She has a big imagination, and I wonder how much of what she says to take to heart.

I consider Karen a friend of mine and don't want to hurt her feelings by accusing her of something that may not be true, but I also don't want her disciplining my child by hitting her or making her stand in the corner.
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