Jenn (jennbean) wrote in workingmoms,


A few weeks ago I ventured into the beginning of "spank" territory. I started with a tap on the hand and a stern "no!" with my 14 month old daughter. Unfortunatly, that resulted in her hitting me back with a stern "no!" After it happened I was like, "wait, I messed this up." Since then, it has been a struggle to get her to stop hitting me. Not anyone else, just me. Which I guess is good, but also makes the situation more disheartening because it makes me feel like she hates me or I'm a terrible mother or something. She has also been hitting her baby since that day. So when she hits me, I've been saying "no hit!" and putting her in a little time out in my lap where I hold her arms and won't let her go anywhere. Sometimes it works, sometimes as soon as I let her go she smiles and hits me again, so I hold her down again. When she's being ornery like that, she only stops when she gets distracted by something else.

Tonight that is the game we played. She hit me, I said "no hit!" and gave her timeouts, and she cried. I'd let her go, she'd smile and hit me again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Very frustrating. Then dad came downstairs and she lost interest and played with him for a very long time. It was cute, he was throwing her around and she was laughing hysterically and a good time was being had by all for about a half hour or more. Then she crawled across the furniture over to me and full on slapped me HARD in the face, with a big smile on her own. Out of nowhere! Just crawled over to me and slapped me in the face! There was even a handprint! I didn't even know a one year old could hit so hard it left a mark! I was furious and told her no and put her over my knee for a spank on the diaper. She cried and then she went straight to bed. Still, I am the only person she does this to.

Now I'm feeling like crap. I don't know how to get her to stop doing this. Obviously tapping her hand didn't work, because then she started hitting me. Obviously the stern "no" isn't working. Obviously the time outs are not working, either. Sure, they make her mad, but then she just hits me again. I seriously don't know what to do and I'm discouraged and feel like I'm messing things up when I'm trying to make them better.

And the dumb thing is that I would post this on a board like at babycenter or something, but I'm afraid all the judgemental stay at home mom's on there would crucify me for working, and that is the last thing I need. Or that all the moms who don't believe in spanking would crucify me, as well. All I want is help on how to solve this. All ideas welcome, just don't be mean.

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