digitalexx (digitalexx) wrote in workingmoms,

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Mommy's little biter

Two days ago Paris (19 mos. old) bit a poor kid at day care on the cheek. This is awful and I feel terrible. She's bitten a couple of other times last month, but it was a month ago, I'd hoped she got over it. Yesterday, the very next day, she bit twice, on arms both through clothes. After the first one, I had to pick her up early, after the second, they called me much later, but I still picked her up early. They didn't want her back today. So we had to scramble to get someone to take care of her so we could work.

They said they didn't want her full time any more for a few weeks and if she bites one single more time she's kicked out. I now have to be to work at 6 a.m. so I can have a full day's work before picking her up at 2:30. Nick's dropping her off later - at 10 a.m. For half of the time she's there she'll be sleeping.

After two consecutive days of biting, I'm sure that she's going to bite on Monday, leaving me s.o.l. for Tuesday. My mom & step-dad went on vacation last night, not returning til the end of the month, so my support system is weaker than normal. Luckily my sister was able to take Paris today for us.

I'm so angry and frustrated. How can I guarantee that Paris won't bite again? I cannot. She is a different person from me. The biting has never happened when I was there for me to do anything about it. My sister pointed out that the other parent probably freaked out and made a big scene so they're overreacting to it.

They're going to be shadowing her when she is there and offering all the kids teething rings & wet wash cloths to bite, if they feel like biting. I should think a kid would get confused between what's ok to bite and what's not ok. But whatever. I ordered two children's books on biting from Amazon because I couldn't find them locally to get them faster. I bought her a couple of teething items so we could have them at home. I've researched the internet and my books and EVERYTHING says it's just a phase, that they grow out of it but that it takes time. Positive re-inforcement. and time.

I called the doc, but the operator didn't want to make an app. for me. She said, "oh, honey! This is normal behavior! What on earth is going on with that day care?!" She left a message with the doc, and when they called back to talk to me I was driving and the phone cut out and they haven't called back even though I've tried calling them again. I just wanted to talk to the doc to make absolute sure that we covered every single base we possibly could.

We're making a concerted effort to get her to make sure she gets as much sleep as possible every night now -- we're guessing that since every single bite has happened in the morning that she might be tired and not able to stop herself. It's a battle to get her to sleep. We've *never* been able to get her to sleep by 8, or even 9. It's more like 10 when she finally goes to sleep. Even getting her to bed earlier that cannot *guarantee* that she won't bite again. And if it's not sleep, we don't have a chance to try anything else.

They made me feel like I was the worst parent ever. They assumed she bites at home, when in fact she does not. They assumed we made changes at home that she's reacting to at day care. We have not. The change she is adjusting to is this day care! She started there Dec. 5th and she had a week off when we went on vacation. Isn't it obvious to anyone other than me that the bites happened right after she started then stopped, and then they started again right after we came back from vacation?!?

I'm so mad.
I'm so frustrated.

I feel terrible for the other kids and their parents. I was on the other side, this is how Paris learned to bite - she was the victim. But what am I supposed to do?? How am I supposed to fix this when I'm not there when it happens?

I'm just simply at a loss.
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